Removing sources of anxiety (T-1day)

Today, all the non-essential companies put their businesses on hold until May 4. It\’s also the last day before school closes for the CB.

CCB starts tomorrow, Singapore. Remember to stay at home, stay 1m away from everyone and wash your hands frequently.

The Ministry of Education came up with the Soaper 5 to encourage kids to wash their hands.

Kid 3 decided to tweak it a little to her own liking. Presenting, the all girls 2008 Popstar version of Soaper 5!

CCB started a little earlier for my kids, because I got paranoid about me being sick and being Patient 0 of a new cluster. I\’m neurotic by nature, definitely who Kid 1 inherited his high anxiety from. I worry a lot and unnecessarily. I know how to reason logically, but the brain just wants to do its own thing.

I made a resolution to visit Facebook a lot less. These days my newsfeed is filled with ugly, unhappy stuff that fuels my anxiety. It started with burnt carcasses of animals in the Australian fire, to the accusing the Chinese people of eating disgusting stuff, and now, the disgusting behaviour of my own countrymen in this time of crisis.

Some people are ok with reading these. They will just read, get upset, but they switch off after they close the screen. I can\’t. The images stay in my head for a long time.

I can\’t block people from sharing news reports of how people in Europe have to leave their dead at the door rotting because no one came to collect them, or frustrating reports of Covidiots. It\’s just too rampant.

So when the environment makes me stressed out and unhappy, I\’d leave the environment for the sake of my own mental well-being. Otherwise my loved ones will suffer collateral damage. I am responsible for my own peace.

Writing is my happy place. I sort out my thoughts when I blog, I live out my fantasies in the book(s) I write. It also makes me consciously seek out the lighter side of my life that I often miss out.

So what did I do today other than avoid everyone in my family?

I tried sewing.

I was an MEP student in secondary school, meaning I\’ve never taken any home economics. I do not know how to operate a sewing machine. YET I OWN ONE!! I bought it a long time ago to sew a neck wrap for myself.

Then I stopped making them (might start again), and completely forgot how to use the sewing machine again.

But I HBL-ed myself totally on how to sew.

My mom, who\’s a seamstress, made those \”humph\” sounds whenever she walked past and warned me not to leave the pins lying around but did not offer to help me. Heh. Typical Asian parents.

After I painstakingly threaded my machine, I looked up on how to sew a face mask. My sewing expert friend sent me a link, so I used the video instructions.

The length of the video is 3mins. It took me 3 hours(!!) to finish one mask.

My stitches were, of course, hideous.

But I managed to come up with something.

The mask the CC gave was one ply of fabric. This one 4. Confirm more effective, but definitely cannot beat a medical one.

It didn\’t fit initially. It\’s either I completely screwed up the cutting process by getting the measurements wrong, or the measurements are for more shapely causasian noses, not the flat asian ones.

But all\’s not lost. I realised it fit perfectly if I wear it the wrong way up.

I omitted the wire thing to fit the nose portion because 1) I couldn\’t find any wires in the house and I didn\’t want to go out shopping, 2) it\’s more comfortable without and more machine-washable.

I was so proud of it. I went to show my mom and asked if my dad wanted one since he had to take public transport to work every day.

He gave me that look. You know the look when your kid comes rushing to you very excitedly with a really ugly piece of drawing, and said he drew it especially for you.

Ok, he can go wear his Bugis unbreathable face masks.

Hopefully with this mask, it means I go back to my bedroom to sleep tomorrow night. Right now, in order to quarantine myself, I\’m sleeping in the study on a yoga mat. I don\’t think my back can survive two weeks of this.

The cloth I used was high quality cotton, which makes it very comfortable to wear for a long period and to sleep. I\’ll probably make one or two more tomorrow to rotate.

Since we\’re talking about CB, I want to give a shout out to Mr Rain.

When I was writing Little Weapon (Book 2 of the Chikara Revolution), I got stuck at coming up with a name for a futuristic implant that turns human beings into cyborgs. I asked him for help.

He paused for a while to think, then 5 minutes later, he came up with something so brilliant I almost destroyed my laptop with the tea I was drinking.

Here\’s an unedited excerpt.

\”Is that a CbKIA?\” she gasped.

He nodded. \”The most advanced model.\”