No toots given (T-2days)

My anxiety level is increasing as we approach CB Day.

Sometimes I wonder why the G wants to use the “circuit breaker” instead of lockdown. I mean, where’s the circuit? What circuit?

Circuit, by definition, a roughly circular line, route, or movement that starts and finishes at the same place.

“I ran a circuit of the village.”

Then, I thought, you know how people like to replace a vulgar word with a seemingly harmless word, but the intention of its usage is the same as the vulgarity?

For example,

You basket, why must you ?
or
I don’t give a flying fish what you think. I’m just going to do what I want.
 
Yeah, maybe that’s why. But I’m never a believer of that. To me, you either swear or you don’t. Don’t pretend. 
 

I don’t bother with that in my household. I use the actual word. The ability to use the “F” word calmly without screaming my head off is already quite a feat.

I mean, in all honesty, I want to be that wholesome mother.

\”Awww, did your sister just throw your expensive pokemon toy out of the window for the third time? Don’t worry, I’ll go downstairs and pick it up for you again.\” 
 
\”Honey, please come down from the ceiling fan. You are going to hurt yourself.”
 
\”Was the steak not done to your liking? I’m so sorry. Please discard it, I’ll cook another one for you right now.”
 
But in reality,
 
My husband’s discord friends are very familiar with my screaming. He’ll laugh it off with embarrassment and continue playing his computer game. 
 
Shouting used to work. But now that Kid 1 and Kid 2 are entering the puberty phase, I learned that shouting usually triggers them further. So if I can help it, I will speak to them in a calm voice, but my sentence will be filled with vulgarities so that they know exactly how upset I am. If not, they will be confused. They are used to equating volume to the level of shit they are in. 
 
For Kid 3 & 4, they are too young. So I’d stick to my shouting.
 
Speaking of shouting, I gotta rest my throat this week. Went to the doctor today because of sore throat. Usually, most of us will still go to work, but not during this period of time. The throat felt scratchy on Sat morning but went away, same thing for Sun. Then last night I woke up at around 0300hrs with difficulty breathing. Not that I’m out of breath but every breath I took hurt the throat.
 
Got up to grab a drink and after that, the anxiety came in. Couldn’t sleep anymore. Did I catch it? Should I still let my kids go to school? Which kid did I kiss yesterday?
 
Was kept awake until 0530hrs when I text my colleague to arrange relief for me. After that, I helped to get the kids ready for school. 
 
Was contemplating if I should go to my regular doctor or the polyclinic, which was further away. But since my mom needed to go to the supermarket (rolls eyes), I decided to hitch a ride with her.

 

Do you know how hard it is to keep the elderly folks at home? Harder than teens. Because teens I can outrank them as a parent, I can never outrank my parents. 

 
I thought it’s going to be a long queue at the polyclinic. I was right, but the moment the receptionist heard my voice, i got asked to take the express lane. It’s meant for patients who developed symptoms similar to covid patients. Apparently, I had borderline fever. Like 37.5 degrees celsius. So i was in and out of there within 30mins. Very impressive.
 
The sad thing is, there were a number of grouchy elderly folks who couldn’t understand why they had to queue to get in for their regular appointment. Can hear them yelling at the poor receptionists. 
 
Then on my way home there was this old man coughing and spitting. I was walking behind him so I sped up and went around him to cut to the front. Suddenly I heard a shout from him and he was on the floor. I rushed over, saw that he was bleeding from the arm, 2 lacerations, so I tried to call the ambulance. 
 
He saw me picking up and phone and promptly told me he was fine. Told me not to call the ambulance. Raised his hand and asked me to help him up.
 
The 995 line was engaged and I couldn’t get through. He asked me again to help him get up. I refused. Firstly, I’m sick myself. Secondly, he’s clearly unwell and worse, he’s bleeding. There’s a very high chance we’ll both collapse on top of each other if i tried to pull him up.
 
I tried calling 995 again and seeing that I am not going to help him, he started to yell at me. The line was still engaged so I looked around. I noticed there was a clinic nearby and I ran over to get help. The receptionist ran out to check on the old man and got the doctor out to attend to him. 
 
All these while he was still yelling at me for not helping him. Sigh. 
 
Seeing that he was attended to by professionals, and I was not in the mood to be receiving more verbal abuse, I left. 5 mins later, the 995 returned my call. I told them the doctor at XXX had attended to the old guy.
 

Is there some unwritten rule that once you reach a certain age, you’re entitled to behave like a tooter? They cut queues, jaywalk when they feel like it, and display abrasive behaviour. I mean, there are younger people who do that too, but the elderly ones are more blatant about it.

Maybe that’s how the Singlish saying “Your Grandfather owns this ah?” came about. It’s used to describe people who behave in an overbearing manner.

Anyway, by the time I got home, I was feeling a little dizzy. I don\’t know if it’s the lack of airflow from the mask that contributed to it too. I had to eat the humble pie today.

My dad happily brought home 2 pkts of disposable masks he bought from those popup stalls at Bugis. I told him I was skeptical about it. I mean if the pharmacies were sold out, where do these people get the masks from?

He kept quiet. I mean he saw my point, but he already bought. He said nevermind, he’ll use them.

Today, I had to use one of them to get to the clinic. The CC ones didn’t work very well as you can see from my previous post.

I wanted to wear it at home but I couldn’t take it. Kudos to the medical professionals who wear it day and night.

Tomorrow I shall attempt to sew some cloth ones I guess. There were some debate over the effectiveness of cloth masks.

See the one the CC gave.

and the fabric I’m planning to use.

I think mine should be more effective. I didn’t think I’d need to make any, but now that I am sick, I better get down to it.

I asked my sis not to come over anymore because her kids and helper usually hang out at my place for dinner until she picks them up after work. She and/or her hubby will have dinner at my place too.

My dad was saying how if I was infected, the whole family would have been infected by now. That’s not really true. We do practice some form of social distancing at home actually.

Like I told my students in school, one person in class gets Covid doesn’t mean the rest will have to get it too if you practice social distancing.

In fact, my ASD husband’s head was already exploding at the number of people at home. He kept reminding me of the G’s advisory.

13.          Singaporeans are advised to avoid holding and participating in social events and gatherings involving more than 10 persons at any one time. These include private celebrations like birthdays and weddings. For funerals and wakes, attendance should be limited as far as possible to family members only, and gatherings of 10 or fewer people at any one point. Much as we understand the need for friends and acquaintances to pay their last respects and give comfort to families in their grief, we urge the public to do their part in minimizing social interactions so that we can slow down the spread of the virus together.

So to play safe, told her we’ll avoid each other for the time being. Just too many people in the house.

The last thing I want to do is to start a cluster. You know they display all this tracing maps to show people the connection? They even show who died.

I don’t want to that “starter”. I mean they didn’t say who in the chart but people around me will know. I will become a social pariah.

As such, I decided to keep all my kids at home tomorrow. Just to play safe. Kid 1,2 & 4 were quite anxious about me. Usually they would celebrate not going to school, but they decided this is not a good reason.

Also I’d be sleeping in the study until the symptoms go away completely.

Hopefully, this is just the regular mild flu.

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